Oh, I’ll Twerk Her!


While the rest of America is up in arms over some dumb former child star turning into the newest pop slut, I say stick that ass out and twerk it a little more.  Why? Why do I not think it’s an atrocity of humanity? Well, for one thing, this is America. The one thing we’re pretty damn good at other than churning out legions of obese, semi-retarded carbon copies, is creating an array of slutty, generally half naked pop stars. Do we really have to have this conversation every time an awards show comes around? And do we have to act each time like it never happened before? Does anyone remember Madonna from the 80s? Or Britney about 10 years ago? Or the thousands of other wannabees waiting in line to skank out on TV when the camera turns in their direction? It’s MTV, it’s like the home for wayward girls. Every Disney sweetheart eventually grows up, and if they grow up within the realm of pop culture having their asses licked by the multitudes every day, they’re likely to end up the kind of raging whore to turn their ass to an auditorium full of people and shake it. We already know this shit, so let’s stop with this being surprised about the state of humanity crap! Besides, though it might not say much for the state of humanity, neither does our sky high murder rate, the massive amount of human trafficking that goes on, or the overall culture of complacency that’s led to an embarrassing amount of obesity, and a criminal lack of basic education, let alone anything useful.

Second, and maybe more importantly, what the fuck else is the little twat going to do? The last resort of the egotistical talentless, which is what makes up the majority of the pop scene, is to wear as little as possible and gyrate enough to hypnotize the masses into thinking that there’s something worth buying into.  Why is there some expectation that an untalented little whore is going to produce anything more than an erection? Maybe we should be more let down that this is what MTV, a cultural hotspot for new music (though they never play it anymore) deemed the best that we had to offer this year.  As far as those inbred idiots that think she has some kind of responsibility to her fans and therefore acted inappropriately, I say ‘fuck you’. Fucking take responsibility for yourselves and your own stupid kids. She might owe us some better music for giving her a stage to twerk on, but she doesn’t owe anyone any more than that. If parents are concerned about their children maybe they should think about how they’re raising them instead of trying to blame the latest pop tragedy for their bad behavior. This shit is everywhere, it’s not like Miley Cyrus invented being slutty.

The last point I want to make is that I like music. I appreciate real musicians who write songs and then get up there with instruments and play them.  I appreciate the general history and culture of music.  What I’m truly offended by is that this is considered real music for so many people. That we actually act like this is something worth praising and putting on a stage and paying money for. If anything, it should be filed under ‘entertainment’.  This is freak show quality at best, and I’ve seen far better in that department. When there’s an awards show called ‘Video Music Awards’ is it that much of an expectation that actual music might come into play, and that it’s not just going to be a lot of rehearsed dance moves and shock value antics? I’m not offended that some self centered little rich girl rubbed her crotch on stage with a big foam finger and shook her ass like she was getting paid for it, I’m offended that her act is literally what passes for music these days.


Debt Me, Baby


So I was reading some shitty article that claimed about half of Americans could dig themselves out of debt by following simple instructions on borrowing money, since, according to the article, exorbitant loans were the reason for this debt.  Now, granted, with the way loans are marketed, it’s easy to fall into the debt trap, and being more sensible when it comes to taking out such loans would obviously make sense, but I still found it to be a totally useless answer.  We’re in massive debt mostly for reasons that don’t even directly concern us.  Bad government decisions and tax laws, health care laws that often require massive payments to simply stay alive when ill, unlivable living wage salaries for minimum wage workers, and huge amounts of unemployment from the lack of jobs in general.  To top it off, since we aren’t educated about, well, anything, it makes it that much easier for all this to continue.  Even putting all that aside and assuming these atrocities of modern life are a given that can’t be changed, maybe targeting the reason for the loans is the better way of looking at it than the loans themselves.  Maybe we, as Americans, should stop buying shit.  If the average in-debt person used the money they spent on bullshit to actually take care of important things, then that would be a better start than finding a better way to finance the unnecessary car, the way-too-big house, the three different video game systems, the new phone every year, and the new wardrobe every season.  We have advertisements crammed down our throats everyday to get us to spend all our money on things we don’t need.  Then come in the horribly corrupt  loan companies that smile as they hand over more money for more shit that can’t be paid back.  Then come the even worse debt consolidators once we realize we’re totally shitfucked (but of course don’t want to give anything back).  And then bankruptcy.  Of course the goal isn’t to get Americans out of debt, it’s to continue the debt cycle so that every American can stay firmly rooted in debt, while paying off fees to these companies with any money that does come in without ever having enough at once to pay anything off.  The goal is to push consumerism on a population that very clearly from the statistics doesn’t need more useless crap or to live outside their means.  And then when we as a population are fighting to get our finances in order, there are shitty finance writers to write shitty articles blaming it all on our ability to take out loans correctly.  Not that these loan companies exist and operating in terrible ways, not that we should learn to be more financially responsible, and certainly not that our government does nothing but help along the process.  Just that we should know who to borrow from.  Why write the fucking article?  Why not write one that says all the stuff I mentioned above.  Maybe some useful information about how to lobby the government to change laws.  Maybe an exposé on the shitty tactics of loan and consolidation companies and how they target specific groups who they think will be too stupid to understand the concept of what they’re doing.  Maybe  budgeting tools to help from getting into this situation that explain how to spend money sensibly and target the spending habits that cause the biggest problems.  Maybe an article that explains that it was set up this way, and that it’s up to us to fight back against these horribly shitty tactics that keep us poor while filling our heads with the need for useless crap that we really don’t need at all.  Wouldn’t that be more helpful than some asshole telling us that we did a bad job of picking a loan company and that’s why we’re in debt??

Truth is, if we stopped buying useless shit, the people who would suffer the most are Walmart executives, and similar folks who should on principal of how they run their businesses and treat their employees be lined up and shot execution style.  We allow them to dictate our spending habits, and create this debt cycle, all to stay in the same miserable state with no hope for the future (and with the weird misunderstanding that what we physically have somehow dictates who or what we are).  And since we put more emphasis on having physical things, than expanding that mass of cells in our heads, we’re not brought up to question how any of it works.

In the end, I’m not even sure who I’m the most mad at.  Loan companies that take advantage of us like we’re little children at a kiddie porn festival; governing bodies that don’t do their job to protect their population from such vultures instead keeping us poor, stupid, and constantly strapped for cash; the people themselves for not seeing the bullshit around them and actively doing something about it instead choosing to complacently swallow it like the end of a long violent blow job; or the media elite who feel the need to write useless bullshit about the process while offering nothing helpful at all.

Here’s the answer guys, ready for it?: Pay attention to what goes on around you.  Be careful with how you spend your money.  And above all, never trust any loan officer, government official, or finance writer when it comes to doing these things.